Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
