Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
