so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
