He managed to light the Jello on fire...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He did a backflip because drugs
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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