I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
