so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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