Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
