even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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