She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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