I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
