puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
