Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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