I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
