he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
