38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
