Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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