I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
