I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She needs sedatives and a leash
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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