The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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