is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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