maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
