too bad you live with your parents still
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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