Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
