I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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