i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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