That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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