he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
