Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
