And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
