There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
