is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
