can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
