After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
