3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
as a side note pls kill me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
