Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
