the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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