Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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