And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Houston, we have a blender
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
