Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
