did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
