Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
