yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
