I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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