Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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