Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
