I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
