If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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