Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
