how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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