I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
